The Goat Butt Stalker

12 Apr

Yesterday was our Nigerian Dwarf Dairy Goats’ due date. The poor girls are so preggo and miserable it’s not even funny. They are both first time moms and new at this whole shebang and I’m sure they are wondering what the hell they got themselves into. I can totally remember feeling the way they must feel right now. So for about a week I’ve been checking on them many times a day and even sometimes at night. Looking for the “signs” they might be getting near. Every day I think that this MUST be the day. Each day the udders are more swollen. The vulva shows signs of increasingly birth-sign discharge (in minute amounts but it’s been there folks). Every day I think “OH MY GOSH THESE POOR GOATS CANNOT LOOK ANYMORE PREGNANT” then tomorrow comes and they do. Today I noticed that poor Marigold’s udder has become so large you can no longer see that she has teats, it protrudes a good three inches past her back legs! She’s got discharge going on to the point that when she lays down she gets long pieces of hay and straw stuck to her butt. Poor thing. Petunia isn’t far behind her. I tried to take a picture for you all but the poor girls seem to be getting self-concious about their butts. I guess my constant trying to sneak a peak at their swollen and leaky vulvas is weirding them out because they now practically press them against the barn when they see me coming. I just told you I was trying to photograph them too so I guess I really have become some kind of freak. Good god. Let’s hope tomorrow we wake up to baby goats and we can all be put out of our misery, the girls can start working on their pre-pregnancy physique and I can quit checking out goat vulvas.


Since no one would let me take a picture of their butt I snapped a picture of the hens settling in for the evening. They seemed very curious about me loosing my mind.


3 Responses to “The Goat Butt Stalker”

  1. The Unruly Farmette April 12, 2014 at 3:51 am #

    O.M.G. I actually laughed out loud! Did it feel funny to write the word vulvas so much? Geez you crack me up my little goat but stalker (pun intended).

    • nmcanchaser April 12, 2014 at 3:56 am #

      Bahahahaha…. Well I started out with goat vagina… and that felt really funny… I did some goat birthing research and found “vulva” to be a bit more PC…. I actually did quite a bit of snickering while writing this post which makes the hubby think that I’m writing about him. I told him I was writing about goat vulvas. He didn’t believe that at all. When the truth is stranger than a lie… hahahaha

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